Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
