Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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