took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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