in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
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