I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
