Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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