we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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