and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
