I wish my penis had an off switch
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
