Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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