David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
