OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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