what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Two words: nipple clamps
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