So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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