good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
