My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What a dumb baby whore.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
