If i come over, it means nothing
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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