so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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