idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
