he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
