That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize