my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
