Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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