At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
