I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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