This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
