exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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