I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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