Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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