I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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