just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Terrible idea I love it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
