she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
