She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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