Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just gift wrapped bread.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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