How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
