I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
