Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
