im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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