just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
