Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
