So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
