I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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