Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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