I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
