all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's never too late to be topless.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
