The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
