You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
