u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This girl is more easily done than said...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
