I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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