you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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