ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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