East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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