she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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