I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
