I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
