you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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